Posts by Mister Biggs

yet it's clearly a scriptural term and would seem to fit their aggressive prosyletizing mentality quite well.. any ideas what it is that they find objectionable?

Mister Biggs

NeonMadman-
I remember Conte. Then again, I guess we both would know him since you and I are both in the same geographical location.

7

Don't Look Now, Our Slip is Showing!

by ozziepost in

jw
friends

the wts in its march 22 issue of the awake!

magazine describes the czech republic as now "one of the least religious countries in europe".. pointing to the decline in adherents in the roman catholic church from 4 million to 2.7 million in 10 years and 32 percent and 46 percent drops in the evangelical and hussite churches, it fails to inform its readers of the situation in the organisation known as jehovah's witnesses.. i wonder why?.

cheers,.

Mister Biggs

Good point, ozziepost!

116

Whats the dumbest thing you were counselled for?

by Beck_Melbourne in

jw
friends

i was once counselled by the elders for watching 'knots landing'....it became widely known in the congregation that me and a few other sisters would rush home from field service to watch our favourite soapie.

if we missed it, we would ring each other up for an update...or...if we weren't near a tv we would ask someone to put the phone handset on the top of their tv so we could hear it...pathetic huh...but that was all the excitement we could scrounge up in our otherwise dull and uneventful lives.

one of the elder's wive's conscience got the better of her...and she confessed to her husband..lol.

Mister Biggs

One time about 6 of us (teenage boys and girls) went over to a friends house. He was showing us around and when we got to his room, he showed us his large record collection. Me and a sister were sitting on the bed going through the crate of records while the rest of the crowd went to the next room to check something else out.
Fast forward to the next night. I get a phone call from one of my elders asking me if I was in the bed with a sister. I explained to him exactly what you read above. He said, "Still, you need to be careful at all times!" Turns out that my friend's mom had a nosey old sister living with them who told on me.
What a bunch of crap!

21

The Three Stooges vs. The Elder Body

by Mister Biggs in

first up is moe howard.

the bully, the boss, the enforcer.

usually the po of the congregation.

Mister Biggs

conflicted-
You're not right! ;o)

18

Our waitress @ Philly Phest was a JW!!!

by badwillie in

jw
friends

yes, she was - incredible huh?.

the first philly phest was a great success.

5 adults and 2 children all enjoyed a fine dining experience in princeton on saturday night.

Mister Biggs

WTLies and bboy-
There is going to be a Philly Phest - Ia. Keep your eyes on the Board.

23

Contradictions-1/1/02 WT

by Mister Biggs in

scanned for your convenience.. contradiction #1:.

um, doesn't the gb elevate itself above the so-called 'rank and file'?

not to mention the elders, the minsterial servants, the pioneers, auxillary pioneers, co's, do's, and attendants.

Mister Biggs

HenryP the apologist, strikes again!
The President of the U.S. is elected in by any registered person who uses his or her right to vote.
Your other questions should ask:
Are any women CEO's of a major corporation? YES!
Are any women managers? YES!

I think that YOU, sir, misunderstand the points that the WT contradicted. Then again, perhaps you choose not to see it. I bet you it's the latter.

I love the Governing Body the way Philly loves Kobe.

Airplane! vs Judicial Committee

by Mister Biggs in

i hope you enjoy this.. it's a story of a jw facing a judicial committee.. the twist is it's done with quotes from the movie 'airplane!'.

elder 1 asks the publisher: nervous?.

publisher: yes.

Mister Biggs

I hope you enjoy this.
It's a story of a JW facing a judicial committee.
The twist is it's done with quotes from the movie 'Airplane!'

Elder 1 asks the Publisher: Nervous?
Publisher: Yes
Elder 2 asks the Publisher: First time?
Publisher: No. I've been nervous lots of times.
Elder 1: Tell us about the woman you fornicated with.
Publisher: Here's her picture.
Elder 3: No wonder you're poked her! She's lovely! And a darling figure. Supple pouting breasts...firm thighs...it's a shame you two didn't get married first.
Elder 2: Would you like to ask any questions before we go further?
Publisher: When can I see the evidence that you have against me?
Elder 1: I think us elders are probably too busy to waste time showing you any evidence.
Publisher: Awww, geee whiz!!!
Elder 2: I'll tell you what, I'll call the PO and see what I can arrange.
Publisher: Gee, that'd be swell!
Elder 1: We do have two eyewitnesses against you. Their names are Tyrone and Derrick. They come from the worst part of town. They speak 'Jive'. Fortunately, Elder 2 understands and will translate for us. Tell us, Jive Guys 1 and 2. What did you see?
Jive Guy 1: I laid down the law to my homie. Sheeeet, man, that honkey mus' be messin' my old lady! Got to be runnin' col' upside down his head!
Elder 2 Translates: I told my pal, golly, that white fellow should stay away from my wife or I will punch him!
Jive Guy 2: Hey Homes, I can dig it! You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap upon you man!
Elder 2 Translates: Yes, he is wrong for doing that.
Jive Guy 1: I say hey sky, s'other say I won say I pray to J. I get the same ol' same ol.
Elder 2 Translates: I knew a man in a similar predicament and he ended up being sorry.
Jive Guy 2: Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got perform' us' down I take TCBin, man'.
Elder 2 Translates: Don't be naive, Arthur! Each of us faces a clear moral choice.
Jive Guy 1: You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em.
Elder 2 Translates: Early to bed, early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
Jive Guy's 1 and 2 say together: Col' got to be! Yo!
Elder 2 Translates: How true!
[blue]Jive Guy 1: Sheeeeeeet!
Elder 2 Translates: Golly!
Elder 1: Thank you, gentleman. You are dismissed.
Elder 3: Have you ever committed fornication before?
Publisher: No sir, I've never even read Playboy before.
Elder 1: You ever...seen a grown man naked?
Publisher: Uh...
Elder 2: Did you ever go to a boys gymnasium and just hang out?
Publisher: No, I...
Elder 3: Do you like movies about gladiators?
Publisher: Do I...?
Elder 2: Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
Publisher: These questions are making me ill!
Elder 3: We've got to get him to the hospital.
Elder 1: A hospital? What is it?
Elder 2: Its a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
Elder 1: How soon can we get him to the hospital?
Elder 2: I can't tell.
Elder 1 states rather angrily: You can tell me! I'm an elder TOO!
Elder 2: No! I mean I'm just not sure.
Elder 1: Well, can't you take a guess?
Elder 2: Well, not for another 2 hours.
Elder 3: You can't take a guess for another 2 hours???
Elder 2: No, no, no! I mean we can't take him to a hospital because we still have about (2) hours of questions prepared to ask him.
Publisher: Surely, you can't be serious.
All Three Elders: We ARE serious...and DON'T call us Shirley!
Publisher: Listen! I never committed fornication, those Jive guys were paid off by one of you, and you don't have any other evidence ANYway! Surely there is something you can do!
All Three Elders: We're doing everything we can and stop calling us Shirley!

There is no happy ending here. The questions just go 'round and 'round. The Publisher is eventually DF'd and forever after has a drinking problem (if you know what I mean)!